Keep the Change
Let's get some logistics out of the way. First, I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving (in case you missed the last two words of last week's post). Happy NINE years to my line sissies (that didn't quite make it into last week's post). Now let's start this thing...
**Insert theme music mixed with some Jay-Z because he's in town tonight**
Over the past couple of weeks, especially with the holiday, I have had the opportunity to fellowship with my family and friends more than I normally would. I love my peeps, and a lot of people ask me for advice on different situations because they value my wisdom. In case you missed the keyword, I said, "ASK." One thing I have witnessed is how people love to insert themselves or give unwarranted advice. My favorite is when people say, "If you ask me..." or, "here's my two cents." But did anybody ask for that?
Some people's advice is limited to their beliefs and their experiences. Listen, I'm not trying to tell anybody else how to live their life, but pay attention to who is giving advice. Let me give you an example. Before I cut my hair for the first time, every bald-headed client in the salon said, "Girl, you got all that pretty hair. People are out here paying hundreds to get hair like that. Don't cut your hair." Now let's analyze this situation. First, I didn't ask for the two cents or nonsense being thrown my way. If you know me, you know that I smiled and kept walking without acknowledging them because I didn't even know them to ask for their unsolicited advice. My mind was already made up. But here's the point....to them, hair is valued because they are unable to grow to the length that I had. They couldn't see past their own experience and struggles to realize that I was completely unbothered. Hair grows back and in my case, longer. If I had listened to the unsolicited advice, I would never know how bomb a bob looks on me. Hair grows like a wildfire on me. I cut my hair twice and it grew back longer than it was when I initially cut it.
Even though my example was about hair, this same limited belief advice goes for all situations in life, including RELATIONSHIPS. Don't let your miserable mama, dumb daddy, and homegirls/homeboys give you unsolicited advice on relationships. Do what works for you and your relationship. *Disclaimer* I'm not speaking from experience; my mama is not miserable, neither are my homegirls, nor do they give unsolicited advice. However, if you are married, why would you listen to your unmarried friends about how to handle your marriage? That's not to say that single people don't give good advice, because I do when asked, but a single person has no idea what it's like to be married. People who have never seen/been in a successful relationship can't tell you what to do in your shoes. How many times have we heard someone give the advice, "You need to leave him," or, "she aint no good." Misery loves company and hurt people hurt people. Sometimes you have to observe who is giving the advice. What sense does it make to ask the unqualified for help on something that they have never experienced?
If you want advice, listen to the person that's not making decisions for you, but instead encouraging you to soul search to find the answers deep within you. Stop letting unsolicited advice persuade you to make poor decisions. Moral of the story is do you boo boo! You already possess 98 cents, you don't need the extra two.